I haven’t truly had the time to process this week the way that I really need to process this week. I’ve cried a lot. I’ve been bullied by students (that will be in a later post). I’ve received a diagnosis which made me realize that I wasn’t losing my mind.
Let’s begin with the crying.
I feel like I let a student down this week. I didn’t protect them the way that they should’ve been protected, but I also realize that had I done what I instinctively would’ve done with my own children or grandchildren, I would’ve lost my job.
A fight happened two feet away from me in my classroom.
No. That’s wrong. It wasn’t a fight because the other student was trying to curl up in a fetal position to protect themselves while another student decided to randomly assault this child. Not once. No. Twice. Before I could get them out of the room, they went back a second time. And this time, I was too far away.
Had it been my children, I would’ve scooped them up flailing and put them down hard in the hallway. They wouldn’t have had an opportunity to break their hand across a child’s face. But we all know what would’ve happened if I had placed my hands on that child. I would be sued and lose my job.
Now, here’s the interesting part. They claimed they did it because the student said something to them, but all of the witnesses claimed that was a lie. But the fact that the video of it happening is freely floating around because they wanted the “views” is oddly interesting. The student laughed about the entire thing in the hallway. They were still laughing about it when the returned from being suspended. They still laughed as they shared the video at recess. (This is not allowed and was addressed by the AP once we found out about it)
What is the problem with these kids?
I can tell you what the school should’ve done. The policy was changed 2 years ago that stated that fighting (like this assault) would result in charges. The child is currently laughing, but I know that they will be receiving a subpoena to report to court. But considering what happened, they should’ve been escorted out in handcuffs to prove a point. It was an unprovoked attack. A horrible assault on a quiet and meek child who never tried to defend themselves because they were innocent. You’re probably thinking these students were the same sex. Nope. A female student randomly assaulted a male student because they thought it would be funny. They knew the student wouldn’t fight back. It’s just one of the bigger trends that is happening in our school right now: bullying. And I’m about to lose my mind over it.
Speaking of losing my mind.
I went to my doctor this week and reported that I am struggling. I can’t concentrate. Nothing is getting completed. The constant chatter and noise in the class is deafening. Etc.
At the age of 53, I was finally diagnosed as ADHD. I had my son’s doctor suggest that to me back when I was in my 30s, but I didn’t follow up with that. I thought that I didn’t fit the pattern, but after listening to my doctor, I realized that I did.
I have some changes to make, and I hope that I can actually get them all changed.
