I. Am. Not. Ready.

Our district is initiating the year-round school calendar. The drawback: Teachers return in July and students start August 1st.

It feels like school just let out.

I need at least another 2 weeks to mentally prepare, but I don’t get that. I don’t even get a small break in between to finish up things here at home. Life is moving much to fast, and I’m over here trying to run to catch up.

I did manage to make these cute little partner work cards.

I printed, laminated, cut, and rounded the corners on them. They are about the only thing that is ready to go. Nothing else is ready. Not my back to school PowerPoint. Not my teacher planner (I haven’t even ordered one yet). Not my first week of lesson plans. Nothing.

All I have is a still stressed out me.

Life is not easy. Teaching? Teaching is definitely not easy.

I went to my therapist last week. She and I talked about this upcoming school year. I need to be talking with her about my empty nest that I will be facing one day soon, or about the nightmares I still have from abusive marriage, but no, we talked about the school year as it is one of my stress triggers.

I shared with her my hopes for a better year being able to deal with the stress with the breaks between the 9 weeks. I also shared my concern about how the weight of your effectiveness as a teacher comes down to data based on tests. I talked about how I hated being asked, “What could you have done differently to make your students successful? What did you do wrong?”

How do you take on the responsibility for something when your students tell you to your face, “I don’t care about this!” There’s no sense of accountability, no intrinsic motivation, no desire for the extrinsic rewards to motivate, and no pride. This is the weight I entered into summer with and for which I have no solution.

Students in elementary can be encouraged and motivated to do their best. Middle school students are apathetic. When they hit middle school, it is just a matter of time before they are done. You have the ones who start looking forward to the age of dropping out, and for some reason, that number gets bigger each year.

My grandson is the first class to not have odd protocols due to Covid-19. Last year, for him, school looked normal. He was in Kindergarten. He will start first grade normally. My hope is that we will pass this bubble and be able to find normal.

Will this school year with its changes benefit these students? Only time will tell. Time. The one thing I am short of right now.

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