After several parents and coworkers saw my posts, my principal reached out to me, and I was truly thankful for pushing me to get the help I needed. I went on medical leave and she drove me to mental health (something I wouldn’t have done for myself). My new psychiatrist took over providing me with my prescriptions for my mental health, and I was given a therapist.

Before I go into this further, I want to state that while most people at that point mentally realize that they need help, they will not take that step for themselves. Usually they will provide you with a clue that they need help, but for some reason, they won’t take the initiative. Why? Because just like my doctor, I was dismissed as not serious. If someone hints at a problem, don’t try to downplay it. Ask if you can help. Or take them for the help.

When I met with my therapist, after my initial intake, we began to peel back the reasons for my anxiety and stress. An abusive marriage, the loss of my parents, my adult children, and coping with the leftovers of the pandemic were all a part of my challenges that fueled my anxiety and stress that ultimately led to my depression.

I had, and still have, things that I do that stem from the abuse and my caretaking role.

1. Speaking on the phone sends me into an anxiety attack (leftover from the mental abuse from my marriage of 10 years). As a teacher, I have to communicate with parents. If someone challenges me, even in person, I feel personally attacked and become that victim again.
2. Confrontation, same as above.
3. Loud noises and loud voices make me feel like I’m about to be attacked. And this year, I’ve had a lot of loud classes.
4. Taking over everything. As a caretaker for my parents and my children, I took on everything. I felt like it was what I was supposed to do. When my parents passed away and my children no longer needed me, I didn’t know where my place was and what my role was.
5. Taking on everything and not allocating responsibility for certain things to others. If I allocated some of the responsibility to others and they did not do their part, I felt like it was my fault and took all of the blame.

As a teacher, many of these things play a huge part of my life in the classroom. It’s a struggle from day-to-day. Because of this, I had to find ways to manage the stress and help alleviate the anxiety.

For the stress, I found ways to cope at home.

1. Journaling: Putting things down in writing and then closing the journal. As I close the journal, I tell myself that I don’t own those. I don’t pick them back up. They are gone.
2. Hobby: I love to sew and craft. I spend time doing this when I need to unwind. It gives me a chance to make something that I can be proud of in a moment when I’m probably not proud of myself.
3. Driving: Sometimes it helps to just get outdoors and drive to my favorite spot. Sometimes that spot is fishing. Sometimes it is just a place to sit outside and enjoy the weather, especially when it is warmer outside.
4. Reading: I love to read. I generally read different genres. If I have a book, I’m probably going to read it and grab another. I especially try to read at bedtime. I put aside the phone and stay off the internet and away from my email. I read at least a chapter and then I go to sleep.
5. Prayer and meditation: Finding time for my daily devotions and prayers help to keep me grounded. A part of depression is feeling the absence of God and feeling alone. Prayer brings me back to Him and a closeness I need.

What ways do you cope with stress as a teacher? Is it to go walking after work? Do you use shopping as an outlet for stress? Share your thoughts below.

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